Truly Wanting to Survive and Live

There have been days that have gone by in which I have not wanted to live. I have wished that I would disappear and no longer exist. It is funny how one incident can change my feelings about that. Two nights ago, I was almost broken into at my house.

That one incident, sparked alot of feelings inside of me. I was angry that someone would try to violate my personal space and home. I fought back and wouldn't let them in! I yelled at them to leave. I then caught a glimpse of them leaving. They had tried to pick my lock and God protected me enough that they didn't get in. It was a small thing but it felt like my whole world of safety was invaded. I can't imagine what would have happened if they had made it into my house. It was at that moment that fear gripped me to the core. Even after they had gone, I was scared that they were hiding somewhere waiting for me to open the door so they could jump me. I called 911 and the police arrived within 15 minutes. I was assured that help was around for me. It never dawned on me that this could happen to me! It was also then that I realized that I wanted to fight to live. They can have my stuff but I wanted to live!

It is that instinct in all of us that we all want to live! I know that fear grips us to the core when we face things like this but truly our instinct is to survive somehow. I learned alot from this one incident. I am still afraid that someone will break in and sleep with the lights on even now. Some other things I realized were things like God was protecting me in it all. I realized that adrenaline goes into play when things like this happen. Things I thought I would incapable of doing, I was capable of doing. I realized that life is a gift and it can be taken in an instant. I guess some of the things I get worked up about, aren't worth it because things can always be worse. I hope if I ever feel life is too boring for me, I will remember this time which is more than I bargained for.

Life is truly worth living out each opportunity and moment. It is easy to voice this but yet another one to live this out. I am going to try to do this for a change!