Realizing How Thankful I Can Be

I came to grips with alot of kindnesses that people have done today. I have an amazing Therapist who listens to all my problems and seems to know just the right thing to calm the drama in my life. I often don't realize how selfish I sound sometimes. I complain how people don't understand me or how people are mistreating me. I then realize that I am then beginning to sound like the world is revolving around me again.

I get a prayer alert from Voice of the Martyrs which always reminds me of how thankful I should be in my life. There are stories of people getting shot and abused because they are standing strong in their belief of Jesus. In these countries, government leaders have created such laws that stop people from having the freedom to worship and believe. I realize after reading these stories that if I have this much time to reflect on my life so deeply, maybe I am just being really selfish. These people are not sitting meditatively and reflecting on their problems but actually going out and helping others and living in faith. I think my biggest problem is fear. I am afraid that people will think less of me or that I won't please everyone. I think today I realized that is my biggest problem. I take too much of this to heart instead of just being. These people don't give a second thought to living for Jesus. They do it and face the consequences with his love behind and before them. I often wonder what my life would be like if I faced the opposition they do. How would I be living? Would I be as bold as they are or just be wishy washy and afraid? God has truly given everything we need and we don't need to be afraid. I know that is what I need to realize. I feel so much like Peter out on the water and Jesus is beckoning to me to come out of the boat and meet him. I just feel like the water is almost encompassing me.

Also, today my trainer at the gym taught me a truth or two about letting things go. She has taught me that working myself up about the small things is not worth it. That blinds me from being thankful too. I have this awesome brother who also taught me alot about being thankful. He is helping me in this time of need in my life. I realized that he truly gives me hope in that there may be redemption in this family I was raised in. I am also thankful for an Aunt and Uncle who have helped me in times of need as well. Whenever I feel like the world is caving in on me, I am reminded that there is alot to be thankful for. I just need to never take that for granted. I never know when those blessings could be taken from life and I know I would be left with a huge gap in my life. God, help me always be truly thankful.