Unacceptable Boyfriend Behaviour
7 relationship offences you shouldn't tolerate ...
By Mariève Inoue

Unacceptable Boyfriend Behaviour

Compromise is an important part of any relationship, and so is forgiveness, when your beau makes a mistake and recognizes he was wrong. But there are some things that aren’t as easy to forget as others, and some extreme breaches to your trust that are not acceptable coming from someone you love—and who supposedly loves you. Here is boyfriend behaviour we won’t tolerate, and neither should you. Check out the “Serious Scale” to see how we rated each on a scale of five, depending on how serious the offence.
Lying
Dishonesty is not an admirable trait—in anyone, not just the opposite sex. If your man has lied to you on several occasions (and we don’t count hiding the huge surprise party that your friends threw for your birthday), he may be hiding something more serious, such as activities you may not approve of, or behaviour that you may find immoral.

Serious Scale rating: 3 / 5
Pretty serious. If you suspect your boyfriend is lying to you, it may be a good idea to sit down and have a talk with him about honesty, and how important it is in your relationship.

Hanging the phone up on you
Flabbergasted? You should be. The action of hanging up on someone is extremely disrespectful, regardless of if you were saying something he might not have wanted to hear. If your boyfriend ever crosses this line, it’s important to get him to understand how insulting it is. You’ve never done it to him, so why would it be acceptable for him to do it to you?
Serious Scale rating: 2 / 5
Serious enough in our books. Once is forgivable, but talk to him about it—it shouldn’t happen again.

Cheating
Women have different views on whether or not cheating is ever forgivable. Even definitions of what is considered “cheating” can differ; is it sleeping with someone other than your partner, kissing, cuddling—or even just thinking of someone else in a sexual context? Regardless of your definition of cheating, keep in mind that although you may have forgiven him for it, it doesn’t mean he won’t do it again—or that you’ll ever be able to trust him fully even if he doesn’t.

Serious Scale rating: 4 / 5
Serious. Once a cheater, always a cheater is our opinion—so if you’re considering forgiving him, think long and hard about how this will affect your relationship in the long term.

Betraying your trust
If you’ve confided something to your beau and he goes and blabs to all his friends, you’ll probably feel like he’s betrayed your trust. Trust is something you build, not something that can be commanded. For some women, it may be months, even years before they learn to trust someone, depending on their past experiences, but also on their current partner and how trustworthy he’s proven to be.


Serious Scale rating: 3 / 5
Pretty serious. Not being able to trust your boyfriend to keep a secret is a big deal, but there’s good news: most of the time, men don’t realize they’re not supposed to keep information for themselves if you don’t make it clear to them in the first place. If you shared something personal with your beau and he told someone else, he probably just didn’t realize how important it was for you that he keep quiet. Have a talk with him about it—chances are he won’t do it again.

Manipulation
Manipulation is another biggie; manipulative men will often try to make you change yourself to better suit their taste (whether it be your clothing, physical appearance, or behaviour). In some cases, you may not even realize that you are changing, little by little, to make them “happy”. Pay attention to what your close friends have to say about your beau, and the comments they make; if they’re always saying how much you’ve changed since you’ve started seeing him, or any other remarks that indicate you’re being influenced by your boyfriend to an extreme extent, you may want to stop and think about the direction your relationship is taking.

Serious Scale rating: 4 / 5
Serious. You shouldn’t have to change anything about yourself to please a man: if he really loves you, he’ll never ask you to in the first place.

Not respecting your friends and family
Your family has known you since you were born, and although they may not be perfect (who is, anyway?), they are still your family—which means your boy owes them respect. Same thing for your friends: they were probably there before your man made his entrance into your life, and chances are they’ll still be there if he’s ever out of the picture; so be weary of any guy who constantly makes negative remarks about your friends, parents, siblings, etc.
Serious Scale rating: 3 / 5
Pretty serious. Avoid guys who disrespect your friends and family, and under no circumstances should your boyfriend try to discourage you from seeing them and keeping in touch with them!

Abuse
Any kind of abuse is unacceptable from the person you love most (or from anyone else, for that matter), whether it’s verbal, emotional, or physical. This is a given, but we’ll say it anyway: your partner laying even a finger on you in an aggressive manner means you should get out, NOW. Verbal abuse is not in the least way any more acceptable: words often hurt more than actual physical pain. And as for emotional abuse, it’s not any less of a big deal; someone who causes you to feel bad or guilty all the time definitely isn’t doing you any good.

Serious Scale rating: 5 / 5
Very serious. If you’re in an abusive relationship (of any type), seek help immediately. Contact a therapist, counsellor, or support group. Ask your doctor to refer you to a mental health practitioner.

All of the above are signs you may need to either sit down and have a talk with your beau, or even reconsider the relationship altogether, in more serious cases. Of course, just as none of this behaviour is tolerable coming from him, it isn’t any more acceptable coming from you, either. Make sure you’re not disrespecting each other in any way by keeping communication between the two of you wide open—for a healthy, happy relationship!