The Road of Job

I am at this place right now. I am on the road of Job. That could be the case or it could just be that I am being challenged to grow and mature. I think either way I am the spoiled child screaming and yelling for someone to give me attention. I know I am not the only one in this whole world suffering but it sure feels like it. I am born self centered. I just can't understand why God can't get me out of this jam right now.

I think whether I want to admit or not, I know deep down that I expect God to rescue me no matter what. I am not saying He won't but I am saying that it doesn't always come instantly. I don't want to go through pain and I think I "deserve" better than being given pain to learn from. I am not saying that I haven't faced pain but I am saying that I have felt an awful lot of self pity through it all. God is such a good God that He doesn't want to see His children suffer. Yet alot of His children do suffer. It isn't His fault. It is just that this world is full of pain and consequence. The whole key is sowing and reaping. There is so much of that going on that it is hard to determine where all the pain began.

I have a choice of whether to let the pain teach me something or keep complaining about it. I can feel sorry for myself which will not make the pain instantly go away. Now, do I become a masachist and live for pain? I don't think that is the answer either. I think the answer is not to beg God to take the pain away but to ask Him to show me what this can teach me. I want to ask Him to show me how I can grow through this. There are many other brother and sisters in Christ who endure greater suffering than I may never have to endure. Do they plead for God to prove that He keeps His promises and to prove He loves them? No, they simply accept what has come upon them and endure it to learn patience and perseverance. That is what sets me apart from the world. I am to become a child who doesn't complain incessantly. I actually think God may even have mercy on those who complain about going through pain. Complaining is all a part of maturing as a child. It is like a child who keeps crying because they are hurting, He simply picks them up and comforts them. That is what makes God such a good mother and father. He loves us no matter what condition we come to Him in. All He wants is for us to ask Him for help. I think I just realized that today!

I think my problem is that I my eyes get off of Jesus and onto people who are not going through trials or pain. Why are they immune to all these things? How come they have no struggles? David asked these very same questions. Job asked God these questions in his suffering too. He had the choice to curse God and die. God challenged Job to show that He understood better Himself and the world. Job was taken aback by it all. He learned patience, endurance and trust in God. These are invaluable lessons. David realized that those who don't go through struggles aren't better off but just lost. Jesus said that He never came to condemn the world but to save the world. How can I be better than Jesus? I can't condemn people that don't go through these struggles just like I can't condemn Him or myself. People don't have a right to sit in judgement on me either and this puts the sowing and reaping law into place. I think the key is to be patient and endure to learn the qualities that God wants me to learn. He wants to teach me things that will bear fruit in my life and to gain maturity. All of these things are easier said then done. I feel like I am on a mountain bike travelling up an awfully large hill and my brakes just gave out on me and I have to keep pedalling or I go right back down to the bottom.

I don't know why I am going through this struggle with employment. I know that most of it is a consequence of a decision I made. I believe God is teaching me patience right now. Just when I think I have patience, that is the same time I am begging God to hurry up. I am learning to keep reading His Word. In the good times, I forget to concentrate on Him and His Word. I also think God is teaching me not to concentrate on all my good works but to become a better servant for Him. I just heard a story about a butcher who won 14 million dollars. He worked 23 years for 12 hours a day. He did those things without thinking and concentrating on how wonderful He is. I think that is the truth of true humility. He gave away chickens to all his customers. How kind and good is that!

Just when I think I am becoming humble and have a good heart, I see an example of someone who has learned this more through the pain of life and the truth of perseverance. I wish we could all learn the lesson of being a butcher who cared more about others than himself! I am concentrating on not complaining right now!